Zen and The 40-Year-Old Virgin

For anyone who has seen the movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005), you may remember the scene where the title character, Andy, is being grilled by a concerned friend for leading a dull, isolated existence. Andy defends himself, passionately, proclaiming that he has a “very fulfilling life!” What follows is a montage of Andy engaging in some of his favorite hobbies, alone in his home. It’s a very funny sequence.  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAB-0P65wRo)

Now I haven’t seen this movie since it was first released 20 years ago, but that particular montage really stayed with me and is what comes to mind whenever someone mentions the movie or I see it listed on a streaming service homepage. And lately I’ve been thinking - why do I find this scene so compelling? I think there are some lessons baked into this particular pie. 

Andy is zen. He finds joy and fulfillment in solitude, yet he is also comfortable and affable among his peers; high-functioning in social situations. He has the ability to mindfully bring his full attention and focus to what is right in front of him, as demonstrated in the moment we see him carefully painting a historical miniature figurine. He clearly has a sense of discipline and diligence, which is evident in his practicing his brass instrument. He finds value in exercising patience and restraint, hence the film’s title and also his commitment in keeping some of his more valuable action figures in their original packaging. And what I find to be truly inspiring is Andy’s gift of creating a structural framework of routine, while enlivening his tasks and rituals with a joyous sense of play. He seems to find freedom in giving over to the act of play, which, I believe, is something that all of us sentient beings need in order to experience a life worth living. He is able to momentarily let go of his outward identity and embrace childlike wonder and creativity. 

Even though we’re basically laughing at this character and his brand of innocence, I also can’t help but feel admiration for his ability to live his own life with self-assurance and conviction. Andy squeezes the joy out of life, and does not seem to be concerned with living for the sake of external validation or praise. He’s not trying to rack up the number of “likes” he can get for any of his activities or experiences. He simply lives. For himself and his own enrichment. 

I hope you can take a page from his book and find a bit of Andy in yourself.