Practice makes practice
Let me confess to you, dear reader, that I have a problem with the phrase “practice makes perfect.” I much prefer “practice makes progress” or better yet, “practice makes practice.” In other words, the act of practicing, in and of itself, can and should be enough.
It is my belief that this whole life thing is one big practice. I’m not suggesting here any ideas regarding the question of (or faith in) what happens to us after this life on Earth. That’s for a different blog post, probably on a different site. I’m focusing in on the approaches we take to our lived experiences here and now.
One thing that has benefited me is to try to see living as a practice. Breaking that down further, if I can look at the ways in which I think, speak and act from the standpoint of practice, this offers me a few things. For one, this perspective offers me the potential to strive for continuous growth; there's almost always room for improvement. It also provides me the much-needed ability to embrace my mistakes and shortcomings, avoiding setting unrealistic expectations for myself. And maybe most importantly, this perspective allows me to embrace my human-ness, which really translates into imperfection.
For all the things you want to be, want to have or want to improve upon, try to view them as practice.
“I am practicing standing up straight.”
“I am practicing being more kind to myself and to others.”
“I am practicing communicating my feelings.”
“I am practicing the ways in which I show love to my significant other.”
“I am practicing making time with my kids a priority.”
“I am practicing breathing and slowing down when I feel anger taking hold of me.”
“I am practicing taking better care of my physical and mental health.”
“I am practicing being on time.”
“I am practicing putting down my phone.”
While it may seem subtle, this shift in language changes a lot. It is a reminder to ourselves that every day is a new opportunity to get it right. The day (or the moment) after this one may bring with it more challenges and complications, but if we think about it all as practice, can that shift the impact we feel when we fall or fail? Can that lower the stakes at all? This is not the same as not holding ourselves accountable or giving ourselves innumerable “free passes” when shit gets hard. This is about how we understand our capabilities, capacities and flaws. This is also about acceptance and forgiveness. The more I make it a practice to think this way for myself and my own life, the more likely I am to do the same for others. And that just might lead to more patience, more kindness, more openness with my family, friends and complete strangers.
I practice psychotherapy. With the support of my colleagues and community, I sit confidently in the knowledge (and joy) that I will continue to practice and grow for the remainder of my career. More importantly, I am assured that my clients will benefit along the way, as they themselves practice and grow and feel and endure with me by their side.